About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
