He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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