you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
