Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
