I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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