T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
