I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
