You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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