so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize