i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Boobs speak an international language.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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