You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
