New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
