Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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