We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
