is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
