dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
