when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
