I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
