did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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