white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
