Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
