The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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