I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
