where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
