Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize