Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
