Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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