Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize