i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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