he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
