Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
