When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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