In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
