I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
