I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
