God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
