Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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