Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
