Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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