Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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