She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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