whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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