I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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