I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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