dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize