Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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