I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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