When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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