TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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