she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
