just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
