stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
