You smell like a Billy Joel song
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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