Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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