quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
