It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
