You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
