feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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