K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
