my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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