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I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
