The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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