I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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