small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
