went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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